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11th February 2006

9:12pm:



I got puppy power!

28th September 2005

7:33pm: support your local douchebag
Since Michael is so stinkin good to me, he bought me a six month premium account at cafepress.com and I've been updating like a madwoman. I took all the images I had spread around three basic accounts (and then some) and put them all on one, fancy, spectacular internet shopping mecca. I'm way excited.

it's easiest to view if you shop by item (upper left corner), otherwise you'll get the whole shop all at once by image. It's going to take me FOREVER to get it all organised >:(

ps~ squid, I'm working on dirty tentacle porn merchandise as we speak in honor of the first giant squid to pout for the camera!

http://www.cafepress.com/cafedoom
Current Mood: ecstatic

25th September 2005

9:16pm: It's been a long long day
worst day ever. Had to work somewhere and didn't know it, got out of it, went home and started the dishpile in the sink. SO I stuck my hand in a glass, did a half a turn, and a big ol chunk of it broke off and I sliced the holy hell out of my hand. I yelled, bled ALL over the floor, then bled a zillion gallons into a dishtowel, and then the best husband on earth took me to the ER for a tetanus shot (yes, I cried. A lot.) and a bandage. I got out of getting stitches (huzzah!) tho, but I have a wicked bandage and a gnarly looking hand. Then we went shopping. This is what it looked like:


Current Mood: crazy

10th September 2005

9:46pm: hello cthulhuCollapse )

The stars were right. Why settle for the lesser evil?
Current Mood: cranky

29th August 2005

5:10am: This is what I get for falling asleep early. I have to work a 12 tomorrow, and I woke up at about 2:30am. now it's after five. Michael and I went on a shopping spree today, he got pants and five bars of hippie soap, I got mermaids, and we got bullied into buying a raffle ticket by a crazy bald man in a kilt.

So i wrecked a batch of cinnamon rolls, but I'll eat them tomorrow anyway, cleaned my kitchen and then trashed it again, listened to the news on the radio about the hurricane layin the smack down on louisianna. I'm gonna try to go to bed.

I did have the most metal morning ever yesterday. Michael bought me a slayer cd, and I was listening to it on my way to work, I was wearin my coop devil shirt and whatnot, and I look down and my odometer rolled over to 66,666. I toasted my dashboard with my Rockstar, and reflected on what a nerd I am.
Current Mood: exhausted

19th August 2005

10:50pm: 1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.
my answersCollapse )
Current Mood: drained

13th May 2005

4:06am: busy girl
Hey! Buy my stuff *stomp*

new things, new artwork, broke ass girl demands attention.

http://www.cafepress.com/hellshalfacre
http://www.cafepress.com/tsunamismash
http://www.cafepress.com/cafedoom

Yeah...so I'm working in S. Center now, the drive is a bitch but I've returned to the site of my old glory days. I'd rather be a cop busting heads but I'm WAAAAAY out of shape. Fixing that.

Tried to see a doc to quit smoking, they dont' take my insurance so I have to wait until my provider switches over so I can get the free non smoking stuff for broke asses.

I just worked an 11 hr shift, got home, ate, took a bath, could NOT wind down, so I cleaned my gnarly kitchen, did all my gnarly laundry, looked at jobs online so I can be a rich gnarly beyotch. It's four am and I"m wide awake, so I think I'll go try to get drunk off what's left in my freezer from my b day. Tomorrow will be hell, I want to get things done but I know I'll sleep all day from being up all night.

I should go try to pawn off a painting on my old art teacher. If anything I could use the ego boost to see him freak out over mediocre art. That always puts me in a good mood.

I think I'll blow 15 bucks on cement paint tomorrow and rip out some of the ungodly carpet in the woodstove room and paint the floor. Call T mobile and yell about them fucking up my phone rebate and make them give me money NOW.
I think I'll switch our DLS to qwest so it's one bill, not two. I hate bills.

I have saturday off with michael, *wOOt*. I hope we are lazy fools and jerk off all day. Those are the best days. Michael, myself, a plate of vegan corn dogs and cable TV.

Someone pay my bills please. I'll cook you lots of food and remind you how beautiful and witty and brilliant you are. constantly. Natty you interested?

Michael, I love you
Court, I miss you.
Squid, I uh. Hm. Call our asses, you jerk.
Dave, ditto.
Natty, find something gross and think of me.
Harry, harry bo-barry...
Current Mood: stressed

20th March 2005

2:05am:

19th March 2005

9:34pm: my pet!

27th January 2005

12:48am: Here's my new painting. Now dance!

Current Mood: blah

11th July 2004

9:27pm: if it was up to me I'd cut off their hands
Yeah so we totally fucking NAILED these three thirteen age girls for shoplifting today. I had come back from my break and passed them in the store on my way to the backroom and on a hunch I shut the door and watched them through the two way mirror and WHAMMO bitch cracks open a lighter and shoves the packaging into a stack of shirts. They got away,and my boss was out looking for them when I went out for a last smoke and whoops! There they are, coming out the door. So I send my boss out after them for the initial contact, saw a lighter come out and then headed over to watch that woman go to work. It was goddamned awesome. By the time we were through we got FOUR lighters back, got stuff from DEBB, Hot Topic, and Afterthoughts. Their asses are SO going to court. The funny thing is, she even told them that if they just told her the truth and handed the stuff over she'd let it go, but the continued to just lie lie lie and when the shit hit, she let 'em have it. Beautiful. I never thought I'd get THAT much enjoyment out of watching little girls bawl. One chewed her nail off and the other almost puked.

I better stop typing cuz I'll wanna chainsmoke and I"m drunk and almost out of cigarettes.
Current Mood: accomplished

15th April 2004

8:54pm: fuck that
K I used to think that people were overreacting when they would complain about cable rates and whatnot, but I added it up over the last 6 months they have raised my cable rates about $30. I just called dish network and they're totally cheaper, even for 2 tv's. like, 15 bucks cheaper, so once I talk to michael I say to HELLL WITH COMCAST CABLE BLOODSUCKERS.
I got on a call back list for qwest to see when/if dsl will be available here, and they're WAY cheaper than comcast too.

Other than that, I'm just extra tired and grumpy from work cuz I had to do the ROTTEN part of the floor moves today. All the electrical shit that makes a huge mess and takes forever and gives me a huge headache. Eh, I'll live.

My birthday is on sunday, and I'm going to be TWENTY FUCKING FOUR. Now to convince michael that I really don't want anything for my birthday. He got me jeans yesterday, and that's all I really wanted, so I'm a happy girl. I get my birthday present every morning I get to wake up to his bed head hair.
Current Mood: angry

28th March 2004

1:44am: finally....not just a pre-lim barf, but like, the fat lady singing all night long. I feel so much better.

I would like to apologize in adavance to my poor husband who gets the priveledge of being married to a retard, even tho I used the bathroom at the other end of the house to be stupid in while you were sleeping. don't hate me. I'm done drinking for a LONG TIME I cross my heart.
Current Mood: sick
1:00am: never goina drink agian
never gona ddrink again
never gonad ring again
never gona trink again'
never every every ever ever

i got ah high five from an old man for singing creedence clearwatr revival.

i
fuckin
rule
Current Mood: drunk

31st January 2004

8:27pm: I haavvvee BEEEEEN to the mountain TOP! And I have SEEEEEN the glory of the JÄGERMEISTER.....an yaaaaaaaaaay hell-alicious!
Current Mood: drunk

12th January 2004

11:49am: three hundred sixty five degrees....
BURNIN DOWN THE HOUSE!!

I left my plastic dustpan on the woodstove yesterday.
Current Mood: dorky

16th November 2003

6:48pm: pazow
I'm so fancy, so very fancy, I'm fancy and prancy and FREEEE

There's nothing like hair dye and whore lipstick to make a girl feel SUPERfly.
Current Mood: ecstatic
4:56pm: I'm in the process of going EXTRA blonde. Is it just me or is the gunk on my head actually fizzing? *itch itch itch*
Current Mood: uncomfortable

6th November 2003

2:46am: ::blink blink::
I got up to let the dog pee and my neighbors house is burning down.
Current Mood: distressed

29th October 2003

2:34am: day 2
Sleep, Eat, Smoke, repeat. I might throw Fuck into that equation.

Is it wrong that all I ate today was garlic mashed potatoes? I ate a LOT of garlic mashed potatoes. LOTS. And then I smoked another pack. Then I slept. I intend to be the first person to simultaneously die of emphesyma and mashed potato overload. In my sleep.
Current Mood: lethargic

27th October 2003

10:38pm: Yowza!
As far as cigarettes go, this is a two-pack day.

I got the axe. Well I was looking for an escape from retail, guess I got what I wished for eh? I can't help thinking I should be more upset than I am.

I feel so...free...well, okay, freaked out, drunk, frazzled, but hey. What's freaking out going to get me? Nuffin.
I just filed unemployment, and I have an interview tomorrow, so eh. Maybe I'll just suck the govt dick for a while.
We'll see. Good thing my dad is my landlord huh? He seems to think this is great, which I guess it is. I guess I'm getting what I wanted...just not in the way I expected :P

Michael is under the impression that I'm going to be home for a while, but a job is in order, so he can enjoy my homebound-ness for a little bit.

Oh and heather if you read this, lemme know when cameron is at work so I can bring him is jacket.


Now...off to find that elusive govt grant that pays half your rent and your tuition and school costs so maybe..JUST MAYBE I can go back to school. Or at least the financial aide that my other sister got. The fabulous parents are paying for any future school we go to, so if I get financial aide then they'll be able to foot it later. Why oh why did a louse like me end up with the best parents in the world? I don't know and I"m not pushin the subject, I'm just thankful.

Goodnight, to drunk dreams, a good husband, an uncertain immediate future, and who the fuck knows. I'm free.
Current Mood: drunk

19th October 2003

1:28am: I hate you, I really really do
Thanks to some dumbfuck hick I'm now wide awake. Doing donuts in my fucking driveway.

AT ONE THIRTY IN THE MOTHERFUCKING MORNING.

You know, you white trash piece of hillbilly shit, SOME OF US HAVE FUCKING JOBS THAT START IN THE MORNING. WE HAVE FUCKING JOBS. JOBS THAT DON'T ALLOW FOR US TO GET DRUNK AND ACT LIKE RETARDS WHEN WE SHOULD BE SHUTTING THE HELL UP BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING SLEEPY TIME.

*muah* love you shithead. I hope your mullet rotts and falls off.

29th September 2003

2:24am: lions
Yes, grandma cat razzle dazzle at the creaky old age of 19 can still catch mice. Isn't that lovely. Know what's better? It's like watching Wild Kingdom on my living room carpet. She catches them (SOMEHOW...now I fully believe in her evil cat voodoo), brings them unhurt and live to the livingroom, makes a wierd sound to call delia to her, then *spit* gives it to her and teaches her how to kill. Michael caught her in the act of calling delia, and giving her the poor thing. I managed to catch the poor little mite, he was hiding under my pink stuffed elephant by the couch. TINIEST little thing! SOOOO scared! I hope he doesn't die of shock, I released him in the woodpile in the garage.

I think that live traps are in order to keep any house mice safe from the pair of them. I'll just keep catching them and putting them outside, I guess.

I wish I could sleep, I wish michael's chest wasn't hurting him so bad, I wish my eyeballs didn't itch, I wish dishes would do themselves, I wish I had the motivation to get skinny again...

but eh. I think I'll go do the dishes now, and when I wake up I can pretend they did themselves.

OOOOOO michael bought me iron on transfer sheets for my printer and I made TWO SHIRTS last night! SOOOO excited.
Current Mood: crazy

24th August 2003

5:27pm: Ha!
<td bgcolor="#000000">Who will play you:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Sigourney Weaver </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Who will play your love interest:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Mary-Kate Olsen </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Weeks you will stay in the box office:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">3</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Song that will play during your love scene:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">U2 - With Or Without You </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Song that will play during your death:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Johnny Cash - Hurt </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your name:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr>
Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck
Created with quill18's MemeGen!
Current Mood: exhausted
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